Last night to be exact.
I started watching Glee somewhere around June this year.
I know I'm super late but I stay in hostel, so duh.
All this time, I knew Finn would die one day.
Because around 2013?
Cory Monteith passed away, the actor of Finn Hudson.
I started watching Glee knowing the end of this character.
I started paying extra attention on him.
(well, he sings really well tbh, another reason I pay attention to him)
And like I always do with all the characters,
I started to feel them.
It's like I know them in person
So in one way or another, I take him as my friend.
I know it sounds a bit weird and crazy
but it's the way I am
I gets super emotionally attached to fictional characters.
Last night, I watched this episode.
The episode which Finn was announced dead.
I read it in the news back in 2013 and it was a sudden death.
So, in my opinion everyone was in shock too.
But the show must goes on.
And I guess they made a memorial episode for Finn, for Cory.
At that time, Lea(Rachel Berry in Glee) was his girlfriend.
The episode started off with his mum and stepbrother Kurt and stepfather
deciding what to be thrown away, given away, and kept.
The mother was totally devastated.
Ironically, it is as though she's his real mother.
And from her, I could really see how Cory's parents had reacted to the news.
Anyway I'm not gonna talk about the whole episode.
Everyone in this episode seems to be, not acting.
It's hard for them too I know.
I mean, they've been together for like 5 years?!
All the songs they sung in that episode really cuts my heart.
The emotions are raw and real, definitely not something you can act out.
I was holding it in, trying hard not to cry.
Then Lea appeared, and she sang.
Make You Feel My Love by Adele.
Oh god, I literally burst into tears.
As Cory's girlfriend on screen and off screen,
it must be really really hard for her.
Then I couldn't stop myself.
I really couldn't but to keep on crying.
As though me myself has lost a best friend.
I rethink of all the things that was said in the episode,
by the mother, stepfather, friends, girlfriend, teacher.
So that is how I would feel if I shall ever lose someone so dear to me.
And then out of nowhere, another person came to my mind.
Robin Williams.
His death has really shocked the world.
A comedian, died by hanging himself?
How ironic.
My feelings for him is unusual as well.
I only watched a few of his movies
but I feel kinda connected to him in some ways
I don't know how but I feel it.
During a recent interview with his wife,
she states that the main reason for him to take his own life
was not because of depression
but was caused by a disease called
Lewy Body Dementia.
This disease has similar symptoms as Parkinson's and Alzheimer's.
For more information on this disease:
http://www.lbda.org/category/3437/what-is-lbd.htm
Last year when he was announced commited suicide,
I was really in shock.
I had always admired him, his characters, his roles.
He must be a really great man, I believe.
So, the thought of these two people being dead has caused me to non-stop crying.
When you die, you're just dead.
End of story, nothing more to say.
Kurt said this in the episode:
Everyone has secrets, now that Finn is dead, do you think anyone cares about his secret?
I literally cried myself to sleep last night.
Today, after having dinner with my godgrandma and mum,
I had a really really big heart to heart talk with mum.
Which has never ever happened.
We both cried, the way home, and we didn't stop talking.
I told mum what I think about her and she told me mine.
There's still one thing tho, that bugs me.
A secret I shall not tell her now.
Anyway,
what I'm trying to say is,
don't wait until it is too late.
Now to think back that Cory has passed for 2 years and Robin 1 year,
they are not going to come back, ever.
That is how life works.
This minute you're here, and the next second you're gone.
Don't let others define how you should live and who you are.
Try not to leave any conversation with bad words or sentences,
you may never know what happens next
and you're gonna regret it for the rest of your life
thinking that the person who died, died thinking something awful about you.
Death is really something mysterious.
One day or later, it will come knocking on your door.
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| Glee cast paying tribute to Cory's death. |
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| Robin Williams |
I know it has been a long time ago,
but I really hope that the both of you could rest in peace.
And the song which broke my heart:
Make You Feel My Love, sung by Lea Michele.
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