but I hope you could do the same for me
especially respect.
I'm 19 now and won't be young any longer now
I can say I'm becoming a grown man
but you have to let me
and not keep me strangled between your palms
Believe in me and let me fly.
I know things are hard between us
I know things are hard in our family
but just fyi, everything that had happened isn't solely my fault
it consists of your wrongdoing, as well as dad's.
Don't push everything upon my shoulder
I can give up my dream
I already did.
Maybe it's just me
but I don't like being boss around
I'm sorry to say that I'm used to be given authority
I'm trying to change but don't force me or I'll break
break into pieces and never, ever heal.
When you talk to me
could you manage to just lower your tone
minus the authoritive voice
maybe use the magic word
that way, I might do what you wish without grumbling or hesitating or getting angry
I love you and you don't ever doubt that
everytime you ask me whether I'll take care of you in the future
what kind of stupid question is that?
Who do you think I am?
It's just too bad you don't know me that much
if you keep doubting.
My privacy is out of your reach and concern
I can put whoever's picture on my phone and you can't change that
People might misunderstand the relationship
but he's my godfather
I admire him
I adore him
I respect him
and I love him
He has always given me the "father" feeling I had never felt
Not that I don't when I'm young
but I had totally forgotten every feeling around dad.
It was my dream to follow the footsteps of godfather
instead I gave it up
who do you think that is for?
You of course!
Who the hell on earth I would care more about than you?!
I told you before I don't express feeling through verbal communication
I told you that
and I also told you that if you really need you could always write me a letter
Words
that's the way I express myself the most
that's why I keep diary
that's why I blog
I don't keep a diary anymore because I think you read it
Your birthday is around the corner
just keep in mind that
I love you and I'll always will
I might get fussy sometimes
but who don't.
What can I say?
